Get Out of Your Head!

Alright, I know I’ve been AWOL for a while.  All summer really.  I took the summer off of school and was just trying to focus on work, family, gardening, learning to can foods, and THERAPY. Lots of therapy.  It’s been going really well.  I’ve done a lot of work learning new coping strategies for when the anxiety creeps up on me.  Also focusing on paying attention to my self talk and working to improve it.  I am way too hard on myself.  I spent the whole summer locked pretty tightly inside my own head.  That can be good sometimes.  It can help you evaluate yourself.  But taken too far it can keep you from moving forward.

Anyways, today is DAY 8 sober!  Started last Monday.  I’m getting back into writing because it is great way to bust out of my head.  I can take all these thoughts that work their way around in my head in circles over and over and just dump them out.

Here are some of the thoughts that have been swirling around uncontrollably:

  • I need to lose weight.  I’ve put a lot of weight back on over the last year. I don’t like it.  I don’t feel good about it physically, or mentally.
  • Building on the first thought: I really need to reignite my passion for running.  I felt amazing while training for a half marathon.  I just don’t have the time to devote to that kind of training.  I do have time to run though.  I need a goal, just don’t know what yet
  • When I look at myself objectively, I’m pretty awesome.  My life is pretty awesome.  Why don’t I feel like my life and self are awesome?
  • I know that I can quit drinking for about 6 weeks.  I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve done that.  What happens after that though?
  • I have taken on a very ambitious life plan changing careers and going back to college.  What if I can’t do it?  What if this one thing that is my life’s passion, is the thing that I fail at?

This isn’t everything.  But these are the ones that seem to come to the surface most frequently.  I guess that’s it for today.  Peace.

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Slumgoo: The Recipe

Last week, I promised something lighter for my next post.  I figured doing a recipe post would be a good way to go.  I haven’t had much time for cooking in the last few weeks.  I go to school 3 days a week and work 3-4 of the other days.  Which is why I have no pictures to go with this post.  I apologize.  I’ll try to be descriptive of how things should look at each stage.  But this is a pretty simple recipe.  If you can make home fried potatoes and scrambled eggs, you can rock out a pan of slumgoo!

This is the basic recipe that I grew up seeing my great-grandma, grandma, and mother making.  I make it now for my kids for special weekend breakfasts, though we don’t get to do that anywhere near often enough.

This is a scaled recipe making it easy to make the right amount for the number of people you are feeding.  As a note: the scale is generous!  This makes a lot of food for everyone.  No one is going to be hungry and you may well have some leftovers.

Don’t expect it to look pretty!  It’s ugly as sin, but trust me, you won’t care after the first bite.

You start by frying up the potatoes to a nice dark golden brown in the cooking fat of your choice (Go with something with a high smoke point). Then you add chopped or torn bread into the pan.  The bread with soak up the cooking fat and then fry into delicious browned nuggets.  This is a good way to use up somewhat stale bread.  Whole and multigrain breads work great in this too.  After you a good brown on the bread, add the whisked eggs.  Mix it around to make sure everything gets coated in egg.  Then cook until you are sure all the egg is cooked through.

The key with this recipe is getting a good brown on the fried potatoes and the bread.  You want them to be really golden brown all over before proceeding.  Otherwise, you’ll end up with mushy potatoes and gooey bread.  Yuck.

Make sure that you add a little more salt and pepper at each phase.  The potato and bread will absorb a lot of seasoning.

As a footnote: While a healthy lifestyle is very important to me and will be talked about in my blog, not every recipe I post will be ‘health food’.  Because, what would be the fun in that?  You have to live a little.  Please, don’t eat slumgoo everyday.  But, every once in while, let yourself slow down and enjoy something ridiculously delicious.  Whether or not it is healthy.

Slumgoo

  • Difficulty: easy
  • Print

A hearty breakfast to warm your belly and heart.

Ingredients

  • High smoke point cooking fat
  • 2 small-medium potatoes per person, quartered and sliced thin
  • 2 slices of bread per person, chopped or torn into bite sized pieces
  • 2 eggs per person, whisked in a bowl and set aside
  • (Optional) Any breakfast meat you might have on hand, precooked
  • Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

  1. Heat oil in a large, non stick skillet or frying pan over medium-high heat. You need enough oil to put a good 1/8-1/4 inch layer over the bottom of the pan.
  2. Add sliced potatoes to the pan and fry, turning with a spatula every few minutes. Add some salt and pepper
  3. Once potatoes are dark golden brown, add bread. Turn and mix with spatula until bread has soaked up the cooking oil. Add some salt and pepper
  4. Fry bread until the pieces look like golden brown nuggets and potatoes are looking more of a medium-dark brown.
  5. If adding meat, add and mix in now.
  6. Pour eggs over top and turn with spatula until everything is coated with egg. Add some salt and pepper.
  7. Cook, turning and mixing until egg is cooked though. Serve hot.

You Have to Start Somewhere….

This is going to a very strange journey.  I intend to document a vast array of topics, all surrounding my life.  At times it will look like a standard cooking/recipe blog.  Other times it will be about dieting, health and fitness.  Sometimes, it is going to be about coping with PTSD and alcoholism recovery.  And how all of those things are tied together in my life.

My Bio explains why I chose the name SlumGoo, and how it relates to this whole mess.

I apologize in advance for my writing.  I’m not a writer.  While I try very hard to be on top of my grammar and spelling, I write the way I speak.  Which means it might ramble.  It might go off on tangents.  My photos are not going to be professional quality. In fact, they will probably almost all be taken on my phone.  And there will very definitely be cursing.

Take that as fair warning.

This first post is going to be fairly short.  I just wanted to put up a little introduction.  But there will be much more to come.

I say that I will be writing about alcoholism recovery.  To be honest, I don’t really consider my ‘recovering’ yet.  I am still drinking.  I just came to the full realization that I am an alcoholic a few weeks ago.  I had suspected that I was borderline, or ‘functional’ or some other tag that I was using to keep denying that I have a problem.

Here’s what happened:  I am currently taking a nutrition class as part of my culinary arts degree.  We had a lecture about alcohol.  The instructor read off 3 different definitions of an alcoholic from different organizations.  I fit all of them.

I cried on my drive home from school that day.  I really didn’t think I was that bad.  I have maintained a full time job for 8 years at the same company.  I have a great marriage. I have an awesome family.  I go to school.  I am able to get through my days at work and school without drinking.  I don’t miss work or school because of the after affects of my drinking (though I do have days where I am definitely not bringing my A game because of it).

I drink pretty much every day.  If I go a day without a drink its because money is too tight for me to buy any alcohol.  I can’t remember that last time I had just one drink.

Alright, enough of that.  I know I have a problem. Blah Blah Blah.  I have my first appointment for an evaluation at the local Behavioral Health Services office later today.  I’m sure I’ll write some updates on how whatever counseling/treatment I end up in are going.

I’ll try to make the next post be a little ‘lighter’.  No promises. My brain is pretty fucked at the moment.